Early morning questions

It is now 6:20 AM. So far, these are the questions Nick has asked this morning, while Michael and most of the rest of the USA are sleeping:

• Why when it rains do people sometimes say it's a shower?
• What does the black circle in your eye do?
• Where is my little fireman with the gray shirt?
• Where is my fire thing with the red dots? (So then I had to ask about 10 questions to find out what in the world he was trying to locate. He was looking for a small play computer/radar small radar dish that came with an airplane, but today, he told me, it was used to detect fires.)
• Can radar detect tornados? (Our favorite household topic lately. :) )
• Does radar have to be in the clouds to find the tornadoes?
• How far can radar see? (My answer..."far.")
• And finally, "Mommy, why don't you have a penis?"

So this fine, very humid, potentially fantastic day begins... :)

A week without the boys

Nicholas and Michael left on Sunday night to spend a week with their Dad. They traveled down to North Carolina, picking up their brother Troy on their way, to see their Me-Mom and Pe-Pop, Aunt Colleen, Uncle Kenny, cousin Nate, Aunt Sarah, and Uncle Jordan. So this is my third day of getting up to go to work and only having to get myself ready. The house is so quiet and with the boys gone, so is my life.

I have been living in PA for almost a year now and have been a single mom for 1 year and 3 and a half weeks. Everything was so chaotic when we moved here and it really didn't start settling down until after the holidays. But even when things are going smoothly, pretty much all of my time is dedicated to the boys or my job. I've made one good friend in the past year and many distant friends. It is hard to make and maintain friendships as a single mom, at least when the kids are so young. And that has become very noticable now that the boys are away and I actually DO have time. I am lucky to be so close to my family and am spending lots of time with my sisters and parents when we can actually have conversations, which is wonderful. I am going out with my best friend here tonight and with a group of great girlfriends from work tomorrow night. Then...I don't know.

I had planned to spend this week getting ready for my second year as a single mom. I took the next couple of days off from work so that I can actually clean and organize my house and plan out the next year. I want to change some things. I want to spend more time with the boys and less time cooking, cleaning, and running errands, which requires even more organization in an already structured life. I also realize I also need to dedicate more time to my personal life. My personal life right now consists of going out with my family, a friend, and rarely, friends from work. Oh yeah, and dating.

I don't go on a lot of dates anymore because I realize I would rather spend my time in other ways, and from what I have seen so far, I realize that finding a partner will probably take many years. Dating is more a form of entertainment that will leave me with good stories that I can call my friend Julie about and we can both laugh. :) Although to be fair, I have met some very nice men, just not the right one. What dating does provide though, is hope. And I need that sparkle of hope in my life. The possibility of an alternate future with a different kind of happy ending helps keep me optimistic. And I have found that I can be indefinitely patient about when it occurs, but I need that hope in my life.

I hope you are all doing well and if you happen to be one of the people with my boys right now, please give them a big hug and kiss from me. I miss them so!

Have a great day!

Happy 4th of July! :)

Happy 4th of July weekend!

We had a busy weekend. On Friday evening we went to Nonna and Pop's house to celebrate Pop's birthday with Sari, Zack, Emily, Zach, and had a wonderful dinner and stayed until dark to watch the fireworks at Upper Darby High School from Nonna and Pop's front yard. Nick was a little bit nervous at the noise but once we explained it was just explosive rockets, he was fine with it. :) Michael was so wiped out, at almost 3 hours past his bedtime, that he almost fell asleep. They both really enjoyed themselves though.

On 4th of July, we went to Emily and Jack's new place and Jack cooked us breakfast. It was such a treat and the boys enjoyed exploring their new home while the rest of us tried to keep damage to a minimum. Then we walked to the parade, which the boys loved! The were throwing candy and the boys were allowed to eat anything they wanted...to celebrate their own day of independence. They definitely enjoyed that. And mommy enjoyed the very long nap after they crashed down off of their sugar high. We went to Aunt Marie and Uncle Frank's house for a fabulous 4th of July dinner celebration. The boys and I really enjoyed seeing our aunts, uncles, and cousins that we don't usually have the opportunity to see and we stayed until the boys started treating everyone to meltdowns. They were just very, very, very tired.

Today we woke up early (of course!) and the boys were very excited to be able to play with my angel cousin Zachary's kitchen toys. The boys spent hours cooking and playing store. Then we went to a playground in Ardmore that has tons of room to run and equipment to hang from, as pictured at the top of this entry. We came home, ate lunch, and then it was nap time and I ran around like a crazy woman trying to get things ready for the week. When they woke up, we went to another playground, took baths, and then had dinner and a last playtime. It was a low key, fun, relaxing day.

Work has been a bit crazy the past few months. I had taken a promotion based on what the job had been the years for which I'd worked for the company. Unfortunately, they made some changes which made it less of a good idea for me to remain in the position, including letting my fabulous partner go. So I stepped down from the job and requested to be placed back on my old team and old position a week ago. As fabulous as an opportunity as it was, the revised position was not compatible with single mama lifestyle and, in addition, we disagreed on appropriate compensation. I will be transitioning back into my former position in about a month, after they hire and we train someone to replace me. I will be looking forward to working 40 hours a week with a lot less work related stress in my life.

Here are some helpful facts that I learned this week:

• Poison control calls back sometimes to make sure your kids are all in one piece, as I was shocked to find out when my phone started ringing at work and they asked if they had taken Nick to the ER. I could hear people going silent around me when I tried to explain that most of the nail polish had come out of his eye and eyelashes. Someone came over to my desk after that call and asked if everything was okay. I just said "Great! Why?" :)
• If a kid swallows a marble, they do, indeed, survive.
• If a kid swallows dirt, a bit of blue plastic, play doh, paint, various foods that had fallen on the ground in various places, and licks a tricycle tire all within a week, he will be okay. Michael is starting to remind me of someone else I know...
• My kids can imitate each others' voices exactly and think it's hilarious when I run to the wrong one.
• My kids have learned if they both get into something together, it makes a much bigger mess and at least one of them will be able to sprint away.
• If things get quiet, it's too late. The mess already happened.
• Attempting to give up coffee is an incredibly bad idea. I think I will wait for about 5 more years.
• Attempting to give up chocolate is.....HAHAHAHAHAHA...yeah, right.

Have a great week! :)

The kids at the 4th of July parade:

The kids watching fireworks on Nonna and Pop's front lawn...thanks for having us, Nonna and Pop!