Hi there! :)
This will be my last entry for this blog, with the exception when I post a new site to match one that will be more appropriate for the boys and I on our new journey! For those of you I have talked to regularly, it will not be a surprise, but for the many others that I love and adore but have not been in regular contact, I am sure it will.
I am getting married in the beginning of June and the boys and I will be relocating about 40 minutes away to live with Chris and his darling daughter Cameron. We met at the Crayola factory with our kids and became friends and then more. Our kids are very excited and so are we!
I hate to even write this here but I want to write to be proactive in response to the very few comments I have received from a couple of people who have not been a big part of our lives over the past couple of years and may not understand this decision. I want to ward off any other well intentioned advice or concerns and leave you with the reassurance that Nicholas and Michael are my world. Every decision I have made since they have entered this world has been about their needs and what is good for them. I wish things with their father and worked out differently and there was no way that I could have known they wouldn't. No one else saw that one coming either. I loved baby daddy very much and if the opportunity to work that situation out had existed, I would have taken it.
I am not afraid to be alone and being a single mom is infinitely better than marrying someone who would not be a good match for the boys and I. I am hardly desperate to be married and find the idea that someone would believe that I would even consider doing anything that I had not seriously considered for the right reasons ludicrous. I have talked to friends and family, researched blended families, attended premarital counseling, and checked in with the boys constantly as we have moved towards this very happy transition. For those who have commented about my decision to take the "easy" way out, I would encourage you to read the research about remarriage and blended families. There is nothing easy about it. I appreciate your concern but, please, don't hate! ;)
Despite the challenges becoming a blended family will create, we are all very excited, committed, and optimistic about our future together and we know we will have tons of happy and exciting times as well! I will keep you up to date through our new blog and for those who are in the area, we will be having a BBQ in September to celebrate life and the serendipitous opportunities it can bring! :)
Much love from myself and the boys!!! :)
Monday, May 17, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
The plague
The boys and I have been sick for about a month now. Luckily we are all so considerate that we are taking turns and infecting each other with Scarlet Fever, strep throats, stomach viruses, and some unidentified illness that thankfully do not require trips to the doctor due to alarmingly high fevers. Did you know that Scarlet Fever even still existed? I sure didn't! I thought it was a made up illness that stayed within the confines of the Velveteen Rabbit story! But apparently, it really exists! Nick had it first about a month ago and Michael just developed it last week. I only had the strep throat part which required dragging both boys out in the middle of a literal blizzard to pick up the antibiotics I begged the doctor to call into the pharmacy that is three blocks from our home. Luckily, they are 2 and 4 years old so all I had to do was tell them if they cooperated I would buy them bubble bath and they could take a blizzard bubble bath when they arrived home. It was quite an adventure. I had to keep plucking out of snow drifts and taking turns carrying them over snow that was too deep to navigate. They thought it was hilarious. :)
I just wanted to write a little update to let everyone know that the boys are doing well though, despite the plague that we are all hoping goes away with the winter. Michael was transferred to another classroom and loves his new teachers and Nick still loves his teacher as well. They are both thriving at school and at home and seem to be happy and well-adjusted little boys. Nick has suddenly become Mr. Social and makes friends wherever we go and asks a million entertaining questions about everything. Michael acts shy now, but is so NOT shy and is a joyful, constantly into mischief, typical two year old. I am really enjoying them and feel lucky to be their mama. :)
I am doing well, despite being sick and exhausted. Between another cancelled visitation with the boys and a stomach virus that forced me to give up the caffeine, I had no idea how I was going to get to the end of this school quarter, but thanks to my Mom, Dad, Sari, Emily, and Chris stepping in to babysit, help with chores and give their moral support and humor, everything is going to be just fine. School is over on the 19th of March and the boys are going with their dad (please, oh please, baby daddy!) for a visit. I plan to have a margarita that night. Maybe two. ;)
After things settle after that, I have lots of exciting news to share! :) Happy end of winter and beginning of spring, everyone! (And happy 24, almost 25 weeks of pregnancy to my dear friend Julie!!!) :)
I just wanted to write a little update to let everyone know that the boys are doing well though, despite the plague that we are all hoping goes away with the winter. Michael was transferred to another classroom and loves his new teachers and Nick still loves his teacher as well. They are both thriving at school and at home and seem to be happy and well-adjusted little boys. Nick has suddenly become Mr. Social and makes friends wherever we go and asks a million entertaining questions about everything. Michael acts shy now, but is so NOT shy and is a joyful, constantly into mischief, typical two year old. I am really enjoying them and feel lucky to be their mama. :)
I am doing well, despite being sick and exhausted. Between another cancelled visitation with the boys and a stomach virus that forced me to give up the caffeine, I had no idea how I was going to get to the end of this school quarter, but thanks to my Mom, Dad, Sari, Emily, and Chris stepping in to babysit, help with chores and give their moral support and humor, everything is going to be just fine. School is over on the 19th of March and the boys are going with their dad (please, oh please, baby daddy!) for a visit. I plan to have a margarita that night. Maybe two. ;)
After things settle after that, I have lots of exciting news to share! :) Happy end of winter and beginning of spring, everyone! (And happy 24, almost 25 weeks of pregnancy to my dear friend Julie!!!) :)
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Evil magic, mean teachers, and no sleep. Oh my!
So, I should be doing my 5+ hours of homework that I have to complete by 1 AM this evening when it is due, but instead I decided to write a blog entry. I've been thinking of my friends and family and missing everyone so much. And I figured I'd at least let you all know we are alive and well, in case you were wondering.
Nick is doing great in school and loves his teacher! He seems to be calming down a great deal (on most days) and is very excited for the big snowstorm hopefully coming our way this weekend! :)
Michael is my little trooper. He was moved into a new classroom in January and his teacher is, well, really mean. After 3 meetings with the director in a week, in which we agreed the things were happening were inappropriate and unacceptable, his teacher persists in being horrible, so I will probably be moving him. I am going to make a last ditch effort because coordinating drop offs and picks ups at 2 locations ever day sounds horrible, but it sounds a lot better than my 2 year old being hated on by a miserable human being.
Things have been hard. I mean, really hard. I started school in October. I took 2 classes and completed them and ended up doing very well. This quarter I am taking 3 classes. And 4 weeks into it I am wondering what I was thinking. Actually, I know what I was thinking. I was thinking....Can. Not. Lose. Job. Since we were all told to get our liscenses, I am doing it quickly because I really like being employed and able to feed us. So, here I am. Last Friday our car died in a terrible haze of white smoke. Chris (boyfriend) and his daughter came and rescued us and waited the 3 hours it took for roadside assistance to arrive. Then we picked it up on Monday. Monday was also the day they "reorganized" things at work, with disaterous effect. That's been a huge barrel of monkeys. Then on Tuesday, I received an e-mail from baby daddy cancelling a visit and saying he would call that night to talk to the boys. Again. After he promised that he could take them every other weekend at least until I was through school. So, I went to the bathroom at work and cried. Because I have been sleeping about 2-4 hours a night pretty much since school started and I am very, very tired. Then I came out of the bathroom and wrote an e-mail back saying that it was unacceptable for him to cancel and I was relying on him. Then I was wondering why I had bothered, because I know it makes no difference. Then my sweet girlfriends at work listened to me vent. And then Julie listened to me some more that night and I talked to Chris and a girlfriend at work left me some voice mail love. So by the end of the day I was feeling much better. And this morning, my friend Karen gave me chocolate covered pretzels at work and eating the entire bag of them made me feel tremendously better.
And for those wondering how to explain cancelled visits and phone calls that don't happen, I have discovered a new technique that seems to negate any negative impact on the kids. I just make something up that is so far fetched it distracts all of us from reality. This week, a group of evil fairies and gnomes unfortunately descended upon the FBI building and put a terrible curse on it. People tried to escape, but to no avail. So even though his daddy, who loves and adores he and Michael more than anything in the world would love to call and visit, he just can't. There is magic flying everywhere that cut the phone signals and a tornado sucked up the FBI car so that they are going to have to fly through the sky in an Army helicopter to find it again. My theory is that anyone who acts like that really may have an evil spell on them, so it is not entirely fabricated. And it is so much more fun when no one gets blamed or has to experience emotional pain. After all, no one can help being hit by evil magic!
So, here I am. The kids are finally asleep. I just finished reading some very boring information about group therapy leadership and I am ready to tackle the 4 essays due by 1 AM. But I just was thinking about how much I missed social interaction and people and having a social life and decided to write because I am afraid that some of you may think I am just being incredibly rude and non-responsive when the truth is I am just completely exhausted and overwhelmed and am barely finding time to eat at this point (except for those delicious chocolate covered pretzels). And things are going to get much worse before they become better.
During this sleep deprived haze I am experiencing I am struck by just how horrible and wonderful people can be. So for the horrible people, you are voted off of my island! Go be horrible to other people! And for the wonderful people who continue to be so patient, kind, non-judgmental and understanding....thank you, thank you, thank you, and thank you again. Your many acts of kindness and plain old not hating on us is so very appreciated. :)
I hope you are all doing well and I will write again as soon as I can. It just may be awhile. Lots of love to you! :)
Nick is doing great in school and loves his teacher! He seems to be calming down a great deal (on most days) and is very excited for the big snowstorm hopefully coming our way this weekend! :)
Michael is my little trooper. He was moved into a new classroom in January and his teacher is, well, really mean. After 3 meetings with the director in a week, in which we agreed the things were happening were inappropriate and unacceptable, his teacher persists in being horrible, so I will probably be moving him. I am going to make a last ditch effort because coordinating drop offs and picks ups at 2 locations ever day sounds horrible, but it sounds a lot better than my 2 year old being hated on by a miserable human being.
Things have been hard. I mean, really hard. I started school in October. I took 2 classes and completed them and ended up doing very well. This quarter I am taking 3 classes. And 4 weeks into it I am wondering what I was thinking. Actually, I know what I was thinking. I was thinking....Can. Not. Lose. Job. Since we were all told to get our liscenses, I am doing it quickly because I really like being employed and able to feed us. So, here I am. Last Friday our car died in a terrible haze of white smoke. Chris (boyfriend) and his daughter came and rescued us and waited the 3 hours it took for roadside assistance to arrive. Then we picked it up on Monday. Monday was also the day they "reorganized" things at work, with disaterous effect. That's been a huge barrel of monkeys. Then on Tuesday, I received an e-mail from baby daddy cancelling a visit and saying he would call that night to talk to the boys. Again. After he promised that he could take them every other weekend at least until I was through school. So, I went to the bathroom at work and cried. Because I have been sleeping about 2-4 hours a night pretty much since school started and I am very, very tired. Then I came out of the bathroom and wrote an e-mail back saying that it was unacceptable for him to cancel and I was relying on him. Then I was wondering why I had bothered, because I know it makes no difference. Then my sweet girlfriends at work listened to me vent. And then Julie listened to me some more that night and I talked to Chris and a girlfriend at work left me some voice mail love. So by the end of the day I was feeling much better. And this morning, my friend Karen gave me chocolate covered pretzels at work and eating the entire bag of them made me feel tremendously better.
And for those wondering how to explain cancelled visits and phone calls that don't happen, I have discovered a new technique that seems to negate any negative impact on the kids. I just make something up that is so far fetched it distracts all of us from reality. This week, a group of evil fairies and gnomes unfortunately descended upon the FBI building and put a terrible curse on it. People tried to escape, but to no avail. So even though his daddy, who loves and adores he and Michael more than anything in the world would love to call and visit, he just can't. There is magic flying everywhere that cut the phone signals and a tornado sucked up the FBI car so that they are going to have to fly through the sky in an Army helicopter to find it again. My theory is that anyone who acts like that really may have an evil spell on them, so it is not entirely fabricated. And it is so much more fun when no one gets blamed or has to experience emotional pain. After all, no one can help being hit by evil magic!
So, here I am. The kids are finally asleep. I just finished reading some very boring information about group therapy leadership and I am ready to tackle the 4 essays due by 1 AM. But I just was thinking about how much I missed social interaction and people and having a social life and decided to write because I am afraid that some of you may think I am just being incredibly rude and non-responsive when the truth is I am just completely exhausted and overwhelmed and am barely finding time to eat at this point (except for those delicious chocolate covered pretzels). And things are going to get much worse before they become better.
During this sleep deprived haze I am experiencing I am struck by just how horrible and wonderful people can be. So for the horrible people, you are voted off of my island! Go be horrible to other people! And for the wonderful people who continue to be so patient, kind, non-judgmental and understanding....thank you, thank you, thank you, and thank you again. Your many acts of kindness and plain old not hating on us is so very appreciated. :)
I hope you are all doing well and I will write again as soon as I can. It just may be awhile. Lots of love to you! :)
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