Why I Will Not Win Mom of the Year

Over the weekend, the boys, their Nonna and Pop, and I went the the Elmwood Park Zoo. We had a wonderful time! And we spent Sunday morning at an amazing castle playground in North Wales, with a Single Parents Group we are a part of. It was so much fun! But what brought me here this evening was a magazine that my mama picked up from the zoo. It was one of those free ones they give out and the topic was moms. I was actually really impressed! The articles were great, they even had information aimed towards single mamas, which I appreciated! The section I liked best was 'Why I Will Not Win Mom of the Year." Moms wrote in stories that I found hilarious, but maybe others would find horrifying, and I could relate. So, here is my own:

Why I Will Not Win Mom of the Year :

Many months ago when I was trying to figure out how to get out out of the house on time (which I still don't manage to do on a regular basis, by the way), I found that if I dressed my kids in their clothes for the next day instead of PJs, it cut out many minutes every morning. I am not sure my kids know what pajamas are anymore.





As you can see, once I just skipped the clothes all together! Just kidding...at least for this week! :)

• I let my kids eat food off of the floor after it falls. I rationalize it by saying I am building their immune systems and have faith when I tell them to kiss it up to God, that God will bless the food and remove anything that could harm them from it.
  
  
• I told Nick if he ever touched the window in his room ever, ever again, the police would come and give him a ticket and probably take him to jail...although it HAS been effective.
  

I guess most people bathe their kids every night. I find that to be very impressive due to the amount of time it takes and the mess bathing 2 wiggly, soggy, splashy children make. I bathe my kids if they start smelling weird or if there is something I can't identify stuck on their hair or body. Other than that, I figure if they smell clean, it's good enough for me.

Example of when I might bathe one of my kids.

• I am months behind on Michael's immunizations. I attempted to take him many months ago but ironically missed the appointment because the kids were sick and I was so distracted that I forgot. A sweet little girl that the kids play with was exposed to whooping cough at school which is one of those things that immunizations provide protection from. We have an appointment on Friday and I am just praying we don't contract any weird diseases or illnesses between now or then.
  

Nick thinks when he is acting up, I am going to eat him. Really. I used to tell him I was going to beat him if he didn't behave. Because I never have, he doesn't know what the word means and just assumed I was saying I was going to eat him. Instead of explaining that I would never, under circumstance, eat him. I still tell him I'll beat him, he still thinks I am saying I am going to eat him, and his eyes get wide and he settles down pretty much every time.

• Sometimes I feed my kids ice cream for dinner.




• I still lock Nick's door to his room every night so he can't escape. That just sounds like bad parenting, but really, I am more scared of what will happen if I don't and he conducts another experiment at 2 AM.



• When Nick whines, I pretend that he is speaking a foreign language that I can't understand so I don't have to respond. I wish his whining was a foreign language that I couldn't understand...or hear at all. Or maybe that it could translate into some sort of silent language, like Braille. On the positive side, he then eventually stops.



• Michael calls every animal a dog. Cows, elephants, birds...all of them are dogs. I used to try to tell him the correct names for things, but having a world filled with dogs makes him happy, so now I point to birds and say, 'dog...woof, woof' and he is ecstatic. I know it's wrong, but if something that little gives him so much happiness, I certainly don't want to be the one to break the news to him.

And here I took a picture instead of intervening when Nick tried to feed Michael to a hippo at the aquarium. :) Actually he was trying to show Michael the hippo, but Michael was too impressed and distracted by the winged "dogs" flying through the air.

And I am realizing I could probably go on indefinitely here, but I am hearing some very loud thumping from upstairs and should probably go and investigate. Especially because now it is being followed by giggling. That can't be good!

Have a happy evening!