September and Life with the Ninjas

So, here we are on a happening Friday night at our home.  The boys are playing some sort of Ninjago lego building game and constructing basements in ships to prepare for some war against "some arch-ememies, like bad guys."  I am taking the opportunity to post an entry in our blog here during what seems to be some moments of relative peace.

The boys are now sleeping through the night with the overhead light and lamp off, which is very exciting.  Thanks for all the very cool suggestions through Facebook!  I loved the ideas and so did the boys...except for Uncle Mark's.  ;)  And I just want to clarify, since I understand that sarcasm is tough to discern through a blog, I did NOT actually let my kids watch Friday the 13th.  The worst thing we watch in this house is Ninjago, once a week on Thursday nights only.    I received some concerned feedback and just wanted to make sure it was clear that probably only my questionable parenting skills are probably threatening the psychological well-being of my kids.  ;)

The kids seem to be doing well.  Nick is doing very well in school, for a very welcome change.  He has only fallen asleep in school twice when it was too boring to take.  We have broken a record this year as we made it though an entire month without a note home or a phone call about "strange behaviors."  I am keeping my fingers crossed and hoping second grade is the best year ever! 

Michael is working hard at his letters and number in preparation of becoming a super secret spy.  He has suddenly decided I am a boy, not a girl, and remains unconvinced when I try to tell him otherwise.  He told me I sounded and acted like a guy.  Nick agrees that I act like a guy too "because I like bike riding and skateboarding."  In fact, the discussion about this just resurfaced as I am typing.  Now they both think I am a guy.  Maybe that's why I am having such disasterous results in my love life?  Maybe I am a guy and didn't know it?  Hahaha...just kidding.  I've always known I am a weird girl.  Even a child can figure that one out.  ;)

Tomorrow we will be going to Uncle Tom's memorial service.  We are remembering all the happy memories he has given us.  I still remember him coming to the birthdays for John and I as "Sparkle" with the watermelon pocket on his suit.  And as an adult, I continued to be grateful for his balloon animals, his  positive spririt, his curiousity and joy, and his awesome music.   We miss him but carry him with us in our hearts and he will remain always with us in all he taught us and shared with us.   It will be wonderful to spend the day with family tomorrow in honor of his life.

Until next time, much love from the boys and I to our dear family and friends!  :) 

Freddy Kruger ROCKS!

You know, I told myself I would post again once I took some really cute pictures of the kids.  But then I couldn't find the battery from my camera and I have no idea how to upload pictures from my phone to this blog.  Technologically challenged, I guess you would call it.  I still have hope for the camera battery since we still haven't unpacked all the way from our move in March.  And I am sure I will continue to learn about technology, but that will be a slow process, so I am banking on finding the camera battery.  But since that will probably take until Christmas at the rate I'm going, I figured I would just post anyway.  :)

Nicholas has started 2nd grade.  He fell asleep in class once "because it was just so quiet and peaceful" and "because it was just a boring class."  So, we had some discussions about that and even if a class is really, really boring, you can't sleep in it.  We made it through the weeks without any notes home though, so I was pretty excited about that.   He is generally happy and healthy and doing well though. 

Michael....the child is having some issues.  About three weeks ago, the boys' father took them to a state fair.  Which was wonderful.  Now, their dad is honestly a smart guy and I have to say his judgment when it comes to choosing activities for them to do is generally good.  But, we all have lapses in judgment, myself included.  So, when Michael was too little to go on the bumper cars with the other kids they were hanging out with that day, his dad kindly offered to do another activitiy with him and took him into a haunted house.

The boys watch very limited TV and have been exposed to very little in terms of scary things the world has to offer.  So, let's just say that Freddy Kruger made an impression.  He stopped sleeping for awhile there and was having nighmares upon his arrival to our vacation with my family, who at first were treated to Michael's screams around bedtime.  About a week later, they were joined by my screams after Michael remained unconvinced that Freddy Kruger and zombies were fictional.  It culminated in one evening where we both had a temper tantrum.  Because, you know, screaming really helps a child who is anxious.  But things are finally getting better as long as the overhead light is kept on all night.  He is now willing to another floor of the house by himself independently again and has stopped walking forward while rotating to ensure there are not monsters creeping up behind us.  So, as Michael's reaction is finally subsiding, I have to admit, the whole thing is kind of funny at this point.  But, note to Baby Daddy...no more haunted houses pleeeeaaaase! 

Yesterday we went to an air and car show with one of the groups we are part of here, which was fun.  But the best part of the day was when we arrived home during a thunderstorm, getting drenched just from running in from the car.  We all jumped into our jammies, ordered pizza and watched movies the rest of the day.  There's nothing better in the world than snuggling up with my favorite boys.  And just loved watching Friday the 13th!

Until next time...sending out lots of love from us to you!  :)

Peanuts, stuffed animals, and floods. Oh my!

I just texted a couple of friends who seemed to find the events that occurred in our lives today just hilarious and it occurred to me that I hadn't posted in my blog here for quite some time and they would at least be entertaining stories for those you not living in our home today. So, last weekend while the boys were having a fun sleepover at my parents house, I had the opportunity to clean the car. I was scared, because I was afraid of what type of lifeform might emerge from the backseat. But I was hopeful that the super vacume at the car wash would suck up whatever was living back there before it got me. So I closed my eyes and hoped for the best and then had a very nice clean car...until today. I stopped home on the way from work, started the washer, and went to pick up the kids. They were bouncing off the walls since I had told them they could go to McDonald's for dinner tonight. Have you ever been to Texas Roadhouse? The place with the shelled peanuts that are strewn all over the floor? Well, when I opened up the back seat of the car when we arrived at McDonald's 20 minutes later, that is exactly what it looked like. And I flipped out about the mess and then it occurred to me....where in the world did shelled peanuts come from and how did they get in the car? But apparently this remains a mystery, because no one could explain it. No one knew. It's like they fell from the sky randomly into our very rarely clean car....like happy shelled peanut fate. On top of that, why is my kid eating random peanuts that came from nowhere. Apparently, this is a mystery not meant to be understood on this day because all I saw were confused looks when I asked where did peanuts come from and why a person would eat random food that came from nowhere. I just decided not to think about it anymore because I just kept coming up with more and more unlikely explanations and decided to just deal the next hurdle, dinner. We all enjoyed McDonald's and I introduced the boys to some old school Sesame Street tunes that I loved...this is our favorite: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xr8vUTm64h0 I'm still rockin' out to it now as the kids are (hopefully) sleeping. It just doesn't get old! So then we returned home. I put the kids to bed and went to fold laundary That's when I discovered my basement was flooded. And I noticed the sink connected to the washer had overflowed. And when I investigated, I found two little stuffed animals lodged into the drain. Since I didn't put them there and since, as far as I know, they didn't walk, I asked the boys. They explained that they had given them a bath down there and forgotten them. That's when I explained what an eviction notice was and that the animals had just received one and would be relocating to a new home where they would not be bathed in places they had no business being in the first place, then forgotten. There were lots of tears and, please oh please, I hope, a lesson learned. So now I am here, getting ready to write a million reports and enjoying the relative peace of the moment and being grateful that we have a roof over our heads, food to eat, and everyone survived yet another day. Other than that, life is actually quite good here. The boys love summer camp. I love the boys and my job. And all is very pleasantly peaceful. Sending happy thoughts of an evening devoid of random traveling peanuts and fluffy animal induced floods to each of you! :) <3

A different kind of happily ever after...

So, the serendipitous single mama returns. My Uncle Mark told me I need to either stay away from guys or "start batting for the other team," which still cracks me up when think of his sensible advice. :) It's funny how life turns out sometimes. I always envisioned myseslf in a happy marriage with kids running around. It is something I have wanted from the bottom of my heart and have done my best to make happen. I seem to lack the skills to make sensible relationship choices, with a few happy exceptions. Or maybe I just suck at marriage...it's also a possibility. Either way, I am not a fan of making people unhappy nor do I want to continue the cycle of putting my family, my darling boys, and myself through the heartache and disappointment of "relationships gone wild." So, I have decided that that it would be best to embrace my single mama-hood and create a happy life for the kids and I. Anyway, with a fantastic family and awesome girlfriends, it seems pretty easy to do at this point. We have begun our new lives! I bought a house, which Nick tells me he picked out for us. ;) He picked a perfect one, I think. We have our own little single family home on a tree-lined street, friendly neighbors, and an actual backyard. I returned to working full time, but am now working as a contractor. Which means that I technicially own my own busniness and get to set my own hours and am able to take off from work when the kids have off or when I just want to take some extra time to love on them. I do all of my contracting for the same agency, for a friend I used to work with at a former job, who is a rockin' director. I LOVE my job! I do mental health assessments and treatment recommendations for people in prison and/or on probation and then on other days I do individual and group counseling for those in recovery from addiction. I have awesome clients and a different job each day of the week, which keeps things fun and interesting. I get to work from home for a portion of my job, which means I get to pick the kids up earlier and can work while they sleep too. I have to say, it truly feels serendipitous how everything has worked out and I feel very lucky that we are all okay and settling in our new lives. The boys are doing really well. Nick is 6 and is finishing his first grade year and Michael is 4 and going to pre-school at a daycare, which he loves. Nick is dropped off and picked up by the same daycare as they have extended school services, so that the boys get to be together more often, which I know, deep down, they enjoy. :) Seriously though, they get along very well when they are not antagonizing each other or having "a war" as they like to call it. Luckily, they get along much more than not. Not so luckily, they have learned that they can put their skills together and create even more chaos when the mood strikes them. They both love biking, climbing, being outside, and exploring new places. They recently were able to visit NC and see their Me-Mom and Pe-Pop with their Daddy and were also able to spend time with their aunts, uncles, and cousins, which I am glad they were able to do! They had a great time and I have enjoyed seeing the pictures of all of their sweet cousins getting so big and even cuter! :) I will try to post regularly to keep those interested updated on our lives and our adventures. The boys still get into all sorts of trouble that seem hilarious in retrospect. I feel like I laugh most of the day anymore and just feel lucky and blessed for all we have in our lives.

Last Single Mama Post

Hi there! :)

This will be my last entry for this blog, with the exception when I post a new site to match one that will be more appropriate for the boys and I on our new journey! For those of you I have talked to regularly, it will not be a surprise, but for the many others that I love and adore but have not been in regular contact, I am sure it will.

I am getting married in the beginning of June and the boys and I will be relocating about 40 minutes away to live with Chris and his darling daughter Cameron. We met at the Crayola factory with our kids and became friends and then more. Our kids are very excited and so are we!

I hate to even write this here but I want to write to be proactive in response to the very few comments I have received from a couple of people who have not been a big part of our lives over the past couple of years and may not understand this decision. I want to ward off any other well intentioned advice or concerns and leave you with the reassurance that Nicholas and Michael are my world. Every decision I have made since they have entered this world has been about their needs and what is good for them. I wish things with their father and worked out differently and there was no way that I could have known they wouldn't. No one else saw that one coming either. I loved baby daddy very much and if the opportunity to work that situation out had existed, I would have taken it.

I am not afraid to be alone and being a single mom is infinitely better than marrying someone who would not be a good match for the boys and I. I am hardly desperate to be married and find the idea that someone would believe that I would even consider doing anything that I had not seriously considered for the right reasons ludicrous. I have talked to friends and family, researched blended families, attended premarital counseling, and checked in with the boys constantly as we have moved towards this very happy transition. For those who have commented about my decision to take the "easy" way out, I would encourage you to read the research about remarriage and blended families. There is nothing easy about it. I appreciate your concern but, please, don't hate! ;)

Despite the challenges becoming a blended family will create, we are all very excited, committed, and optimistic about our future together and we know we will have tons of happy and exciting times as well! I will keep you up to date through our new blog and for those who are in the area, we will be having a BBQ in September to celebrate life and the serendipitous opportunities it can bring! :)

Much love from myself and the boys!!! :)

The plague

The boys and I have been sick for about a month now. Luckily we are all so considerate that we are taking turns and infecting each other with Scarlet Fever, strep throats, stomach viruses, and some unidentified illness that thankfully do not require trips to the doctor due to alarmingly high fevers. Did you know that Scarlet Fever even still existed? I sure didn't! I thought it was a made up illness that stayed within the confines of the Velveteen Rabbit story! But apparently, it really exists! Nick had it first about a month ago and Michael just developed it last week. I only had the strep throat part which required dragging both boys out in the middle of a literal blizzard to pick up the antibiotics I begged the doctor to call into the pharmacy that is three blocks from our home. Luckily, they are 2 and 4 years old so all I had to do was tell them if they cooperated I would buy them bubble bath and they could take a blizzard bubble bath when they arrived home. It was quite an adventure. I had to keep plucking out of snow drifts and taking turns carrying them over snow that was too deep to navigate. They thought it was hilarious. :)

I just wanted to write a little update to let everyone know that the boys are doing well though, despite the plague that we are all hoping goes away with the winter. Michael was transferred to another classroom and loves his new teachers and Nick still loves his teacher as well. They are both thriving at school and at home and seem to be happy and well-adjusted little boys. Nick has suddenly become Mr. Social and makes friends wherever we go and asks a million entertaining questions about everything. Michael acts shy now, but is so NOT shy and is a joyful, constantly into mischief, typical two year old. I am really enjoying them and feel lucky to be their mama. :)

I am doing well, despite being sick and exhausted. Between another cancelled visitation with the boys and a stomach virus that forced me to give up the caffeine, I had no idea how I was going to get to the end of this school quarter, but thanks to my Mom, Dad, Sari, Emily, and Chris stepping in to babysit, help with chores and give their moral support and humor, everything is going to be just fine. School is over on the 19th of March and the boys are going with their dad (please, oh please, baby daddy!) for a visit. I plan to have a margarita that night. Maybe two. ;)

After things settle after that, I have lots of exciting news to share! :) Happy end of winter and beginning of spring, everyone! (And happy 24, almost 25 weeks of pregnancy to my dear friend Julie!!!) :)

Evil magic, mean teachers, and no sleep. Oh my!

So, I should be doing my 5+ hours of homework that I have to complete by 1 AM this evening when it is due, but instead I decided to write a blog entry. I've been thinking of my friends and family and missing everyone so much. And I figured I'd at least let you all know we are alive and well, in case you were wondering.

Nick is doing great in school and loves his teacher! He seems to be calming down a great deal (on most days) and is very excited for the big snowstorm hopefully coming our way this weekend! :)

Michael is my little trooper. He was moved into a new classroom in January and his teacher is, well, really mean. After 3 meetings with the director in a week, in which we agreed the things were happening were inappropriate and unacceptable, his teacher persists in being horrible, so I will probably be moving him. I am going to make a last ditch effort because coordinating drop offs and picks ups at 2 locations ever day sounds horrible, but it sounds a lot better than my 2 year old being hated on by a miserable human being.

Things have been hard. I mean, really hard. I started school in October. I took 2 classes and completed them and ended up doing very well. This quarter I am taking 3 classes. And 4 weeks into it I am wondering what I was thinking. Actually, I know what I was thinking. I was thinking....Can. Not. Lose. Job. Since we were all told to get our liscenses, I am doing it quickly because I really like being employed and able to feed us. So, here I am. Last Friday our car died in a terrible haze of white smoke. Chris (boyfriend) and his daughter came and rescued us and waited the 3 hours it took for roadside assistance to arrive. Then we picked it up on Monday. Monday was also the day they "reorganized" things at work, with disaterous effect. That's been a huge barrel of monkeys. Then on Tuesday, I received an e-mail from baby daddy cancelling a visit and saying he would call that night to talk to the boys. Again. After he promised that he could take them every other weekend at least until I was through school. So, I went to the bathroom at work and cried. Because I have been sleeping about 2-4 hours a night pretty much since school started and I am very, very tired. Then I came out of the bathroom and wrote an e-mail back saying that it was unacceptable for him to cancel and I was relying on him. Then I was wondering why I had bothered, because I know it makes no difference. Then my sweet girlfriends at work listened to me vent. And then Julie listened to me some more that night and I talked to Chris and a girlfriend at work left me some voice mail love. So by the end of the day I was feeling much better. And this morning, my friend Karen gave me chocolate covered pretzels at work and eating the entire bag of them made me feel tremendously better.

And for those wondering how to explain cancelled visits and phone calls that don't happen, I have discovered a new technique that seems to negate any negative impact on the kids. I just make something up that is so far fetched it distracts all of us from reality. This week, a group of evil fairies and gnomes unfortunately descended upon the FBI building and put a terrible curse on it. People tried to escape, but to no avail. So even though his daddy, who loves and adores he and Michael more than anything in the world would love to call and visit, he just can't. There is magic flying everywhere that cut the phone signals and a tornado sucked up the FBI car so that they are going to have to fly through the sky in an Army helicopter to find it again. My theory is that anyone who acts like that really may have an evil spell on them, so it is not entirely fabricated. And it is so much more fun when no one gets blamed or has to experience emotional pain. After all, no one can help being hit by evil magic!

So, here I am. The kids are finally asleep. I just finished reading some very boring information about group therapy leadership and I am ready to tackle the 4 essays due by 1 AM. But I just was thinking about how much I missed social interaction and people and having a social life and decided to write because I am afraid that some of you may think I am just being incredibly rude and non-responsive when the truth is I am just completely exhausted and overwhelmed and am barely finding time to eat at this point (except for those delicious chocolate covered pretzels). And things are going to get much worse before they become better.

During this sleep deprived haze I am experiencing I am struck by just how horrible and wonderful people can be. So for the horrible people, you are voted off of my island! Go be horrible to other people! And for the wonderful people who continue to be so patient, kind, non-judgmental and understanding....thank you, thank you, thank you, and thank you again. Your many acts of kindness and plain old not hating on us is so very appreciated. :)

I hope you are all doing well and I will write again as soon as I can. It just may be awhile. Lots of love to you! :)